Do I contradict myself?

I put off an About Me story, first because I didn’t know what to say and then because I couldn’t decide what to leave out.

We all have a multitude of stories.

For this post, I decided to tell the complicated one about admitting I was a writer then how I later became one.

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself.
(I am large, I contain multitudes.) — Walt Whitman

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then. I contradict myself.
(No, I don’t. Yes, I do. Hush, you.) — Scott Hughey

I was an early lover of words and language. Oddly so, given that so many people couldn’t understand mine.

I was adopted, along with my…

To the gentleman at table #5:

You’ve just ordered a 12-ounce ribeye steak. It’s usually a fine choice. The high-fat content makes the steak tender and juicy, cooked in its own juices. When prepared properly, you’ll find it perfectly seared and exploding with flavor.

Except, you ordered it well-done.

I immediately knew several things.

• As a kid, you probably set your roasted marshmallows on fire. You swore this was because you “like them that way.”
• If you ever manage to procreate, you’ll teach your children to set their marshmallows on fire, too. …

What Neil Gaiman and the Marvel Cinematic Universe Have in Common

What do the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Neil Gaiman have in common?

Aside from the fact that Benedict Cumberbatch (AKA Dr. Strange) has always seemed to me to be the acting version of Neil Gaiman, the answer is masterful storytelling.

Neil has a quote somewhere. I can’t remember if it came from a speech, a book, his masterclass, or some other source. I can’t quite put it into full context, and I’ll have to paraphrase. But it fits what is happening in the MCU.

Neil discussed one of the most beautiful moments of crafting a story. It’s when you’re trying…

We will announce the winner next week

Open Letters has been thrilled with the entries for our Response Letters Contest. The responses brought laughter to many. Be sure to read these replies and the original letters, if you haven’t already.

Below are the finalists in no particular order. No, that’s not right. It’s clearly an order. What’s the accurate way of saying it? Ah, I’ve got it.

Below are the finalists in no intended order.

And The Finalists Are

A Response From The Spider Monster Throwing a Party in Your Room by Bev Potter, responding to An Open Letter to the Spider Monster Throwing a Party in My Room by Courtney…

I’ve heard it both ways — Shawn Spencer, Psych

Note: This is a slight expansion (with grammar correction) of an answer I wrote on Quora to Have you ever said something in an interview that immediately disqualified you from the position?

My long career in IT started in programming.

I joke that I was a mediocre to a below-average programmer. The truth is, I wasn’t bad, I just lacked real-world experience. I‘d taught myself to program, along with learning bad habits. Fortunately, I picked up good ones in college.

College isn’t the real world though.

An internship followed by a full-time programming job provided programming experience. …

I must tell you about Alias. The problem is, where do I start?

Alias was the greatest spy drama of 2002. In only five seasons, it degraded into the worst spy drama of 2005. If you debated that the fifth season was the worst of the 2000s, I couldn’t argue the point.

So do I tell you the mildly humorous story of how I went from mocking to loving the show? Or do I mention my 19-year crush that not only lives on today but that I failed miserably to keep from my wife? …

Response Letter Contest: A Non-Entry

To My Sockless Friend,

Courtney Burry!

Forgive Dobby. Bad Dobby! Bad!

Courtney Burry is kind and generous. Dobby has committed a most heinous crime against you. Your letter has moved Dobby to tears. Dobby had to punish himself terribly. Dobby shut his head in the dryer several times.

But you must not be angry with Dobby. Dobby has your best interests in mind, mistress.

Dobby is protecting you! You must believe Dobby. Dobby swears this to be true.

When mistress fled the magical spider monster in Japan, mistress left behind several things.

She left a housecoat, a half-eaten sandwich, and…